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Bigelow Darjeeling – “The champagne of black teas”

March 26, 2012 by Lance Heiskell Leave a Comment

Darjeeling-tea

This tea reminds me of watching Green Acres on TBS many, many years ago.I hear Eva Gabor asking: "Dahling, would you like some Darjeeling tea?"Also, "The champagne of black teas?" That wouldn't taste so good. That and I don't drink champagne. If they said "The chocolate ice cream of black teas" Ok, you've got me there. … [Read more...]

Don’t worry parents, it’s whole grain! You know, healthy!

March 4, 2012 by Lance Heiskell Leave a Comment

The first ingredient is whole grain corn. The next ingredients are sugar, corn meal, corn syrup and canola oil --not so healthy.But it's whole grain. That's healthy eating...right?Does this mean I can eat a stick up butter and call it healthy as long as I spread it onto two pieces of whole grain wheat bread?That's healthy eating. It's a sandwich with whole … [Read more...]

Best Buy’s Descent to Curling Irons, Office Supplies, K-Cups, Yoga Mats and Twilight Licensed Hairbrushes

February 16, 2012 by Lance Heiskell Leave a Comment

Today, I drove to 4 different Best Buy stores to take a look at the DVD/Blu-ray sections for work. I've done this for well going on 8 years. I've seen changes in the store but not like recent visits in the past 6 months.Best Buy used to be Music and DVD in the front, stereos to the left, computers to the right and TVs in the back. Every store was like this.The best way … [Read more...]

Looks Like More Loaf Than Meat.

January 14, 2012 by Lance Heiskell Leave a Comment

Apparently non-stick pans can't work without a pan handle lifter. Save 15 bucks and use gravity. Lift and dump, my friend. Lift and dump. … [Read more...]

Dear Internet: Our Nation’s Dignity

January 2, 2012 by Lance Heiskell Leave a Comment

Dear Internet:I thought this was a joke bit on TV until I visited a Bed Bath Beyond. It's real, and I cry one tiny tear for our nation's dignityDear Lance:Twas no joke at all. These adult Onesies with the butt flap zipper reminds meĀ  of those old Merrie Melodies cartoon gag with button popping off the hind quarters drawer flaps. Gets me every time. … [Read more...]

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Why Hello, I’m Lance Heiskell

I'm a strategic marketing hired gun with a badass six shooter.

A thinker, a man of ideas.
Ideas that produce action.
Actions generating outcomes that exceed beyond their tensile strength tolerance.

Planning + Implementation = My bread & butter.

I'm the phone call you like to take.
You look forward to my meetings.

You + Me = Amazing Results
Let's work on some cool shit!


Let me be your secret weapon.

Practice Make Awesome

This is my outlet for constructive criticism on all things marketing.

The more you know how I think, the better idea you have to team up with me on a project.

Core Beliefs

  • Quality is a given, not an option.
  • Emotion is the crucial currency for long-term customer engagement.
  • Don't forget what it's like to be a fan.
  • Listen to your customers - they are the core to your company.
  • Change is inevitable - see the patterns and understand them.

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